Customers and the funny things they say

Hi guys thought I'd give you a couple of Darwin specials.

Do a mobile to a woman's house to fit an immobiliser to her (grey) import Toyota people carrier. "Could I have the keys please?"

"Why do you want my keys?"  You know where this is going don't you!!

Outside someones house installing a car kit, he comes out to tell me he's just had a power failure inside the house, was it anything I did?

Wow.. a lot of Best Buy/Ex-Best Buy employees here.  I actually wanted to work in car installation or computers, because it was the two things I thought I knew the most about.  Ended up in Home Theater, which wasn't bad and it was a good opportunity to explore something I hadn't really looked into before.

Someone here posted about getting calls from customers who thought they were talking to Circuit City.  I've had a customer in the store, talking on their cell phone, then you hear "uhh... " then the customer turns to me and asks "What store is this?"  If that's not bad enough, it happened not once but twice. It happened a third time but that time the lady turned around and noticed the company name on my shirt and nametag.

Had a guy come in one night looking for a DVD Recorder.  It was a daunting task answering his questions, because he not only had a lot of them, but...      he found it....        necessary....        to put.........  long pauses......     between......    every 2-3......    words....   ....in a sentence.  Furthermore, he just didn't seem to understand anything.  I was taking it slow, figuring that this might have been overwhelming for him. I'd explain something, then he'd ask the next question, then after a while he'd be asking the same questions again and I'd have to explain everything all over.  This went on for the better portion of an hour.  I was just trying to finish the sale now as fast as possible since the process was becoming extremely painful... you just wished you could reach in there and pull the sentences out.  I think he ended up not buying anything, too, but he said he'd come back later.  I never saw him again.  I doubt he even remembers any of that.

One customer told me he couldn't watch cable on his new TV.  He needed to have an external converter box to do so.  He told me he had one that he bought here, and he went over to show it to me. 

He connected the cable TV into an RF Modulator, and hooked it up to the TV.  Then he told me that someone here said it would work.

While I dont work for a shop I get a lot of this stuff when people ask for me to tag along with their audio install or tell them what to get (Shops here absouletly know nothing!!! They match amplifiers to subwoofers with the peaks. For a JBL GT4-15 1000watt they told me to get a 2channel amp that said "1000watts" ... it wasnt even bridgeable and I had a SVC sub :S)

Anyways this is what I alwayyyyyyys get --- "I have 15,000RS (250US$) and I want awesomeeee sound quality and bassss" .... :S

Following are what 50% of my convos are...

Random dude : "I want to install a real good quality sounding system, I want subwoofers amps deck speakers blah blah got lots of money"

Me : "Okay then, lets get an Alpine headunit and ...." *dude cuts me off*

Random dude : ".... no I want Pioneer, the one with the DOLPHIN display cus it looks cool and Pioneer is the best"

Me : "...umm ... if you want and then lets get some good components in the front ..." *again cuts me off*

Random dude : "...no... Kenwood HQ-718 are the best BASS speakers" *i cut him off*

Me : "...if you know so much then jus friggin get your own stuff dont come to me whining later that you spent this much and still your car sounds like doodie"

Thats the worse thing in my country. People spend lotssssss of money on stuff ... and ALL they get ... are Pioneer headunits (to them ... its the best possible hu ever) ... Kenwood HQ-718 speakers or if they find them ... HQ-715 speakers because they are the ULTIMATE ULTIMATE speakers with awesssome bass. For subwoofer ... they ALWAYS want a Pioneer 30x subwoofer. Thats it ... they wont buy ANYTHING else

Another funny thing that happened a few days ago. Friend calls me that some shop is making his sub box and wants me to overlook the build n tell size. I go there ... and tell them the size (1.5cuft sealed) ... and then ... the start making a port. Im like NO dont make it. Here is the reply .... and its a killer ..... "Hahaha ... are you mad? Air will not escape there will be no bass at all" ... I take them to my cars trunk and show them the JBL GT4-15" (I had that time) in a sealed box and then I play it. Then I get a ... "Sorry sir, we will do it as you wish". The ports they make ... lenght never matters ... box size or anything ... just a 3" x 4" port in even a box less than .75 cuft for a 12" :S

Oh and this is the classic one ...

... I want a DVC subwoofer because DVC has double coils so it has double power. Like a supposed Pioneer 1000watt entry level 50US$ sub is gonna be a 1000watt ... let alone 2000watts :S

A friend bought a Kicker L5 12 used with a box from the supposedly best audio shop in the city (n its a big city). A superb box it was ... net volume less than 0.80 cuft and a random slot port of I dont know what frequency.

It hit worse than an entry level Pioneer or Kenwood or an Xplod rated at less than 100wrms. The amplifier with it is rated for 1060watt @ 2ohms. Shop guys said the because it was on the stock cd player in the Yaris (builtin to the design etc)

Okay so ... the box had to go. So I got a box made (1.5cuft sealed) then went to set up the subwoofer in that. Would you believe the amplifier was on FULL gain :| and so was the bass from the pre. I take out the subwoofer ... find it to be a Dual 4ohm wired up series ... im like .. hold on ... SERIES :| ... 8ohm load ... no WONDER this sub sounds like crap.

I always love it when customers decide they can fit the products they have bought from you themselves. I've seen some bad ones.

One guy bought a Fusion Powerplant sub and amp from us, I offered to fit it, and he said "nah, I know what I'm doing". Anyway, he comes back later that day saying the Amp is faulty, coz it aint working, so I trot out with my multimeter to take a look, and when he opens the boot (you guys call it a trunk), I couldn't stop laughing. He hadn't wired up the remote-turn-on from the head unit, which was a good thing, coz he had wired the entire amp with 5 amp cable, none of which was fused in any way, shape, or form. A fire waiting to happen. He ended up paying to have it fitted correctly, hehe.

Another great one happened this week, when a foriegn gentleman, who could hardly speak english, came to the store after purchasing a Pioneer AVH-P5900 DVD head unit and having it fitted by his friend, a "professional" installer. He kept on that it didnt work, telling me his friend had installed it perfectly, and yet the DVD's wouldnt play. I asked if cd's worked, and he said they did, but when he put in a dvd, he just got a blue screen. I promptly mentioned the parking brake sensor lead, and he said yes it was installed correcty. So I ask him to bring the unit in for testing, and when he brings it in, he's in a right mood, telling me I know nothing about insatlling car audio and all sorts, anbd that we will refund him or else, so I take the unit off him and wack it on the test rig. As I'm plugging everything in, I notice the parking brake sensor lead hasn't even been unwrapped. So I earth it off without him seeing, and hit the play button. DVD plays fine. His face was a kodak moment. I unplugged the unit, and chucked it back at him. So much for his "Professional" friend, lol.

My favorite?

Customer: "Do you sell words?"

Me: "Words?"

CU: "Yeh, I already gots my beats and tweets...now I need my words"

Me: <lightbulb comes on over my head> " OH...yeh, we sell midrange speakers.....LOL"

Another story?

Customer balks at the $125 labor to install his Jensen motorized screen in his Trailblazer. He says he will do it himself. Later on that day, I get a ticket on my counter that is a "normal" $45 hour system diagnosis. I wound up installing his screen for $45 because it took less than 30 minutes. That dude must have worked there before and knew the system...hahaha. The only thing he had done correctly was mount the dash kit. The dash trim ring was broken, dash light fuse was blown, RDO fuse blown, all wires were twisted and not insulated. The antenna didn't fit without the adapter that "was a rip-off and not needed", so he had cut the ends off both the radio antenna input and the GM end of the antenna and had them twisted and not taped either....

here's a good one...

guy comes in and says "i need some 54's in da boot"

us: huh?

him: 54's in da boot

us: 54's in the boot?!

him: yeah

turns out he was talking about 6 by 9's in the back deck (6 by 9 = 6 X 9 = 6 times 9 instead of 6 BY 9 in his mind and "da boot" was the back deck)