Customers and the funny things they say

I have a few good ones: 1) Did an alarm in a late 90's Toyota sienna. Everything went smoothly, so I back it out and park in on the curb in front of the shop. The customer comes to pick it up and after demo'ing the unit for about 10 minutes I head back inside. Then for the next 20 minutes we hear his siren going off every 3 minutes or so, along with the hood/doors opening and closing. Finally he leaves, but then returns 15 minutes later shaking like hell. he tells us that we never properly latched his hood and it flew up on him on the highway and did extensive damage to his car. We tell him that we will be looking into it and send him on his way. Sure enough, after checking hte camera's, it showed me not only shutting the hood, but checking it twice before backing it out. The customer had opened it while he was playing with it and tried getting us to pay for his stupidity. 2) We did a radio in a mid 90's chrysler. The customer comes to pick it up and before leaving comes back in and completely starts screaming at the top of his lungs that we completely messed up his car. We ask him what was wrong and he starts going off that when he brough the car in he had manual seats, and now he had electric seats. We were basically speechless for a minute, then finally explained to him that we had no way of installing electric seats in his vehicle in the 30 minutes that his car was in the bay. Well the argument went on for about another 45 minutes until he called his daughter (he was in his mid 60's) and she told him that he always had power seats. Surprisingly, the guy completely apologized and ended up buying us lunch. Definately a good laugh after he left. 3) We installed a sweet Dual bandpass box into an old saturn. Well he returned a couple days later saying that his subs were blown. I took a look at it and found all of the settings on teh amp (gain, bass boost, and Frequency) were completely pegged. I reset them correctly then took a quick picture and told the customer that we would replace the subs this time, but if he were to alter the isntallation.. including the amp settings, then we would not be replacing them again. Sure enough he returned about 2 weeks later, with not only the settings pegged again, but the ground wire was cut, extended by twisting a taping (8ga wire) and hanging out of the trunk dragging along the ground. I told him that we were not replacing the subs because he blatently altered the installation (the original ground was still attached to the seatbelt bolt). He refused and I showed him the picture of the original settings and then asked him why he cut the ground wire. He explained that we didnt know what we were doing and that it was completely our fault because the directions stated that the ground wire was to be connected to ground/earth... so it was supposed to be touching the ground outside the car. I am not one to laugh at someone but I simply could not help myself and told the customer that there was nothing I could do unless he wanted to pay for an additional installation and a new subwoofer. The customer left with the belief that we didnt know how to install and that his buddy was going to do the installation for him. Needless to say, the customer returned about 6 months later with a new car. I asked him what happened to his old one and guess what.......... it was completely totalled due to an improper installation which caused the vehicle to catch fire. karma is definately a *****.Kenny

Owner / Technician

KKD Garage LLC

Albany, NY 12205

ahah, offrroadzj, so far the best one i have read. stealth had a good one but this one made my day for sure. i like the part " ground wire was to be connected to ground/earth,so it was supposed to be touching the ground outside the car" bahah nice

That was hilarious Kenny!!! I have never had someone that dumb before, now I guess I can now expect at some point to have one person say that.The wire I'm test'n isn't doin' what it's supposed to be doin'... I am so glad I printed that tech sheet, with the wrong info.

Do it right the first time... or I might have to fix it for ya

We sell and service emergency vehicle equipment (2 way radios, emergency lighting, etc.) Had a guy come in one day from the local fire department and he purchases a mini strobe bar with a magnet mount. Knowing how this guy drives, (He makes a NASCAR race look like kids on go carts going around the track) I inform him that the "magnets are not for use on a moving motor vehicle", just as the paperwork that comes with the light tells you. Well... about 4 days later he comes in to the store holding what is left of this $450.00 light demanding a refund. I tell him I can not refund his money as the light is destroyed and, already knowing the answer, ask him what happened. He tells me that he was on the interstate (I-84) responding to a call at, get this, 45 MPH and the light just blew off the truck. Now, I know he is lying because A: No one, not even little a old lady, does 45 MPH on an interstate and B: If this guy was doing less than 90 on his way to a fire call then either he had bad gas in his tank or his engine was about to take a $#!t. After informing him that the paper work (and his receipt) clearly state that the bar was not to be used on a moving vehicle, he starts with the whole "I'm gonna' call my lawyer and the Better Business Bureau on you" routine. As he is ranting and raving, another customer happens to walk in. He was passed on the highway that day by this guy and saw the bar come off the truck. (Pretty spectacular sight to behold I was told). He proceeds to tell this guy, and I quote, "You had to be going close to a 100 since I was doing about 80 or so and you went past me like I was standing still. You're lucky I didn't call the State Police on you for driving like such an @$$hole, but I did put in a call the chief of your department." The guy just stands there with his mouth hanging open not knowing what to say and storms out of the store never to be heard from again. Moral of the story is A: Most customers that return "defective" merchandise are lying when asked "what happened" and B: sometimes the retail Gods just happen to smile down on you at the right moment.

tcss wrote: I had a customer once who came into my store almost every day. One Saturday he and a friend of his come into the store wearing matching tuxsedos. I asked him if he was going to a wedding and he said he had just came from one and was on his way to the reception. I asked him who's wedding it was and he said it was HIS! He said his new wife knew how much he was into car stereo and she would understand. I wonder how long that marrage lasted?

Last I checked it was 25 years.......

Back in the 80's we were installing a cheapo amplifier and some speakers in a customers car, he came up to one of the installers and asked how it would sound, just as he did a car drove by the shop with music blasting and sounding really good, the installer looked at the customer and asked "did you hear that guys system"?? the customer got very exited shhouting, YES YES!! then the installer looked at him very calmly and said "it ain't gonna sound nothing like that"..

OK today i had a customer asking for a harness. fair enough Customer: i need a harness for an 05 blah blah me: ok here you go... Customer: no that's not it thats' the one for 110 dollars me: *knowing damn well that's the harness because i did one the day before* I said that should be what you need sir. Customer: NO I need this one spouts off some number that he got out of a catalog at walmarts car audio department. Me: We don't carry the same stuff as walmart there's a reason people come here. Customer: I'm not paying 110 dollars for that harness! Me: ok then... Customer: *looking at the gmos04 confused* How does this hook up? Me: I'm sorry but i'm not going to tell you how to install your radio. Customer: Well that's bulldoodie if this doesn't work i'm bringing it back. Me: Well if you can't get it to work you can pay me to do it because i know that works just fine. Customer: Are you saying you're smarter than me?? Me: Not at all i'm merely saying i know i can install that radio with that harness. Customer: I'M AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER! And you're saying you know more about this stuff than me? Me: *smiling trying not to laugh* If you think you know more about this than me why are you here asking me questions then? Customer: well i'm taking this and if it doesn't work i'm bringing it back Me: *still smiling trying not to laugh* Ok that's fine. Then after this was all done the other installer working with me was working on a caddy and when the guy left he started laughing his ass off and i did the same.A DMM is a beautiful thing.

MECP Advanced Installer Certified.

I had some guy come in with a 90 Silverado that was trying to blame the radio install we did two years ago as the reason why his brakes lights just stopped working.